January 17th, 2014 by Gary Osberg
Good chilly morning from Collegeville,
When the family moved from St. Louis Park to Upsala in 1956, I did get out of having to do “detention” at the SLP school. My rebellious nature had already kicked in. That fall I started hanging out with other “town kids”. Note: The Upsala school population was divided into “farm kids” and “town kids”. For some reason one of us decided to steal a gas cap off of a parked car. I am not sure which “genius” came up with this idea, but in any case the prank turned into a long term project. Everyone in town was talking about it and I am sure that old man Miller printed a story in the local press. Earl Metzger was the local police and in time one of the “gas cap gang” confessed to his parents and we got busted.
We were gathered up and forced to reveal the hiding place for the gunny sack of gas caps. All of those who were missing their gas cap were told to come to Earl’s garage and sort through the lineup of gas caps. We appeared in front of the Justice of The Peace in the backroom of the fire hall. Justice Bernard Lunder sentenced us all to “six months of church attendance”. Not all of us learned our lesson. The “Black Knights Car Club” was born a few years later.
The APHC show this week is live from The Fitzgerald Theater in downtown St. Paul. Special guests include the eclectic Ukrainian quartet Dakha Brakha and blues vocalist Hilary Thavis. Plus The Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and Fred Newman will bring us the usual cast of characters. Guitarist Dean Magraw sits in with The Guy’s All Star Shoe Band. Enjoy the show and the News From Lake Wobegon.
“It is unwise to pay too much, but it’s also unwise to pay too little. When you pay too much, all you lose is a little money, but when you pay too little you stand a chance of losing everything because the thing you bought is incapable of doing what you bought it to do. The common law of business balance prohibits paying a little and getting a lot. It just can’t be done. So, when you deal with the low bidder, it is wise to put a little something aside to take care of the risk you run. And, if you do that, you can afford something better.” John Ruskin
January 10th, 2014 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
This winter is getting old already. Monday was the worst. My face hurt when I walked to the Post Office on campus. Now there is the threat of ice. Next year I am thinking that I will spend the month of January in Sun City West. I dug out my 40 year old cross-country skis and they are in the shop for waxing. Even the boots seem to be in good shape. The complete set of gear was made in Norway, the land of my forefathers. Maybe that will help.
Next Monday is National Clean Off Your Desk Day. I like to come in on Saturday mornings to keep up with the task and water the plants. But there is always a stack that could be sorted and stuff that could go in the trash or the recycling bin. Best Buy will accept almost any old screen or printer at no-charge. That would help a lot.
The APHC show this week is a live broadcast from the Nourse Theatre in San Francisco. Special guests include three-part harmonizers The SongBirds, home grown music masters Jim Kweskin and Geoff Muldaur and fiddler extraordinaire Sara Watkins. Plus the Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and Fred Newman will perform a variety of skits. The News From Lake Wobegon will touch on the cold wave that hit the small town in Mist County.
Harper’s Chord is going to perform at The Paramount Theater in downtown St. Cloud on Saturday night. They are a trio from Little Falls that is sure to please. Details at paramount arts dot org.
“All that a man does outwardly is but the expression and completion of his inward thoughts. To work effectually, he must think clearly; to act nobly, he must think nobly.” Channing
January 3rd, 2014 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
I celebrated my tenth birthday on a ship crossing the Atlantic Ocean. My mother and her four children were returning from a stint as a US Army Dependent Family stationed in Vienna, Austria. My Dad was held over in Vienna and when he arrived in Upsala a few weeks later, Ma was in New Ulm visiting her cousin Helen. Dad borrowed a brand new 54 Chevy from Uncle Duke who owned Hagstrom Chevrolet in Upsala. My brother Bill and I rode along with Dad to New Ulm.
I was napping in the back seat and I woke up when our car was broadsided by a dump truck. I had a broken leg. I can still remember the pain when they lifted me on to the X-Ray table at the hospital in Cokato. The cast that they put on went from my toes to my crotch. I was in the hospital for a few weeks and when it came time to transport me back to Upsala, Dad took me to Uncle Elmer’s house which was the Dokken Funeral Home in Cokato. I had to spend a night on a cot on the main floor in the living room next to the viewing room. The next day they took me to Upsala in a black Studebaker hearse. That explains a lot, huh!
The APHC show this week is a live broadcast from the San Diego Civic Theater. Special guests include the folk trio The Wailin’ Jennys and singer-songwriter Sara Watkins. Plus the Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and Fred Newman. The News From Lake Wobegon will highlight the variety of winter sports.
“Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out” Chekhov
December 27th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
I consider myself in recovery. I quit drinking in 1976. I am a “recovering entrepreneur”. I couldn’t work for the man, I had to be the man. Lastly, I am a “recovering jerk”.
It is the last one that is the hardest to deal with. I have been known to grow very impatient with lines. There are too many coffee selections. What happened to just regular or decaf? Lottery ticket sales drive me nuts. I love the self serve gas pumps with swipe card capability. To help me deal with these defects, I have adopted a morning reading ritual. This one I stole from Ann Landers. It is usually published in the local newspaper every New Years Day.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things I can correct, and accept those I cannot.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I’ll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I’m a smoker, I’ll quit. If I am over-weight, I will eat healthfully, if only just for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it’s only around the block.
JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.
The APHC show this weekend is a re-broadcast from last December at The Town Hall in New York City. Special guests include Diana Krall singing “Glad Rag Doll”, Rob Fisher and the DiGiallonardo Sisters have the “Heebie Jeebies” and there will be a word from Lutheran Air, the airline that insults you with a smile. In the News From Lake Wobegon, the Chatterbox Café’s potato sausage gives the town a festive aroma. Enjoy the show
“Dost thou love Life? Then do not squander Time; for that’s the stuff that Life is made of.” Benjamin Franklin
December 20th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
Five days until Christmas. I have all of my shopping done and now I simply have to pace myself on the cookies and candy.
Children love Christmas, as well they should. As with most families, some years, Christmas gifts were easy to come by and some years the budget would not allow for much. The Christmas of 1956 was a memorable one for me. My mother had to make a change due to Dad’s inability to handle alcohol. We were living in an apartment in Little Falls. That Christmas, Santa brought us six big Tonka Toy 18 wheel trucks. There was a cattle truck, an oil tanker, a freight truck and three more. This was a perfect gift for a family with five boys. For many years I had the impression that they were from some sort of social agency that served the poor. It turned out that the “Santa” was Dewey Johnson, a classmate of my mother from the Upsala High School class of ’37. Dewey’s friend was one of the founders of Tonka Toys. Dewey had already passed on before I learned the “rest of the story”, so I never did have a chance to thank him.
Perhaps you know of a family that has come upon hard times and they could use a “Secret Santa”.
Here is the link to getting the 24 foot Christmas tree into The Great Hall: http://bit.ly/7H3YDf
The APHC show this week is live from The Town Hall on West 43rd Street in New York City. Special guests include pianist Rob Fisher, Bensonhurst carolers The DiGiallonardo Sisters and vocalists Heather Masse and Aoife O’Donovan, plus the Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and Fred Newman. Enjoy the show.
“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.” Thomas a Kempis
December 13th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
Friday the 13th. This is the second “Friday, the 13th” for the year of 2013. In 2012 there were three “Friday the 13ths”. According to the Stress Management Center and Phobia Institute in Asheville, NC, an estimated 17 to 21 million people in the United States are affected by a fear of this day. Some people are so paralyzed by fear that they avoid their normal routines in doing business on this day. “It’s been estimated that $800 to $900 million is lost in business on this day..” source John Roach.
According to Wikipedia, the actual origin of the superstition appears to be a tale in Norse mythology. Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus the devil – a gathering of thirteen – and plotted ill turns of fate for the coming week. For many centuries in Scandinavia, Friday was known as “Witches’ Sabbath.” source: Charles Panati, Panati’s Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things.
The APHC show this week is live from The Town Hall in New York City. Special guests include keyboardist and bandleader Paul Shaffer, singing trio The DiGiallonardo Sisters and soprano Ellie Dehn plus the Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and Fred Newman. The News From Lake Wobegon will remind us of our “Christmas pasts”. Enjoy the show.
“The years teach much which the days never know.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
December 6th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
BRRR! Nine below zero on the Pontiac dash board display. The in-floor heat in the cottage is a little tricky to control but other than that it is a pleasant place to spend the winter. All because my Grandma’s mother, Anne Oien, received a letter from a man named Anderson, who wanted her to come to Minnesota from Norway to help him keep warm in his cot. If only she had got on the wrong train in Chicago and had ended up in Kentucky instead of St. Paul. Mr. Anderson would have found someone else to cuddle with and I would have been raising horses or at least shoveling manure in the sunshine.
A great oak fell yesterday. Nelson Mandela died South Africa at 95 years of age. He spent 27 years in prison and four years after he was released he was elected President of South Africa. The remarkable thing was that he was able to forgive his enemies. “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.” Nelson Mandela
The APHC show this week is a live broadcast from The Town Hall in New York City. Special guests include British rock n roller, Nick Lowe and actress Debra Monk, plus the Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Sue Scott, Tim Russell and Fred Newman. The News From Lake Wobegon will remind us of who we are.
“A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.”
Nelson Mandela 1918-2013
December 4th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
Friendship
If one day you meet someone unique,
With a spirit kindred to yours,
When your hands touch in greeting, you feel you are meeting
Someone you’ve met before.
All in good time, you’ll be sharing good wine
Ideas and observations,
Exchanging notes and anecdotes,
Having great conversations.
No questions are asked, no answers are needed,
You accept this friendship with pleasure.
For a newfound friend in everyone’s life
Is truly a remarkable treasure.
For friends will celebrate each other’s joy,
Comfort each other in sorrow,
Be there forever, beginning to end,
Yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
The author of this poem is Gladys Hamilton. Next month she will celebrate her 94th birthday. She is the mother of my sister-in-law and I was blessed to have been able to spend Thankgiving Day with her yesterday. This summer she moved to Edina from Phoenix. She is a true Renaissance woman, a poet, artist, sculptor and a writer. You can learn more about Gladys at gladysandfriends.com
The APHC show this week is live from The Town Hall on West 43rd Street in New York City. Special guests include Vince Giordano and the Nighthawks, author Roy Blount Jr.and singers Heather Masse and Aoife O’Donavan. The Royal Academy of Radio Actors, Tim Russell, Sue Scott and sound effects man Fred Newman will entertain with some of your favorite skits. The News From Lake Wobegon will feature pumpkin pie.
“A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to leave alone.” Henry David Thoreau
November 22nd, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
Fifty years ago today, John F. Kennedy was shot and killed in Dallas, Texas. It was one of those events that, if we are old enough, we remember where we were when we heard the news. There are a number of comparisons between Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy.
1. Lincoln was elected to congress in 1846, Kennedy was elected to congress in 1946.
2. Lincoln was elected President in 1860, Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
3. Lincoln’s wife lost a child while living in the White House, so did Mrs. Kennedy.
4. Kennedy had a secretary named Mrs. Lincoln.
5. Lincoln was shot in the back of his head in the presence of his wife, as was JFK.
6. They both were shot on a Friday.
7. Lincoln was shot in the Ford Theater. Kennedy was shot in a Lincoln built by Ford.
8. Lincoln’s assassin, John Wilkes Booth, was know by three names, comprised of fifteen letters, same as Lee Harvey Oswald.
9. Booth was killed before being brought to trial. Oswald was killed before being brought to trial.
10. Lincoln’s successor was Andrew Johnson, born in 1808. Kennedy’s successor was Lyndon Johnson, born in 1908.
The APHC show this week is a rebroadcast of the all-things-banjo show from back in February. Special guests include, Joe Newberry on “Down the Road”, Bill Evans playing “Ragtime Episode”, Noam Pikelny’s “Broken Drought”, a three banjo version of “Arkansas Traveler” and a bit of history on the banjo from Bill C. Malone.
In the News From Lake Wobegon, the town prepares for the annual “Big Plunge”.
“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” From “The Hobbit” by J.R.R. Tolkien
November 18th, 2013 by Gary Osberg
Good morning from Collegeville,
I am now the proud holder of a “St. Cloud State University Driver Improvement Certificate”. This program is also marketed as the “55 Plus Improvement Program”. Had I signed up for this class when I was first eligible, I would have saved 10% per year on my auto insurance for the last 15 years. An estimated $900 of un-realized savings. Dumb! It is an eight hour course, but well worth the investment in time and enrollment fee.
I learned that if you are driving in a 55 mph or 60 mph zone, and you want to pass a slower driver, you are allowed to speed up to 65 or 70. This would not apply to any other posted speeds, only 55 and 60. I also learned that it is against the law to pass on the right except where there is a clearly marked lane for that purpose. I am not sure what the fine is, but the instructor made it sound like no small matter. There is no test to take at the end of the two evening course, so you have no excuse.
The show this week is a live broadcast from the Music Hall at Fair Park in Dallas, Texas. Special guests include conjunto kings Los Texmaniacs, country trio The Carper Family and singer Aoife O’Donovan. A special group, The Moonlighters, (Rich Dworsky, Richard Kriehn, Dean Magraw and Gary Raynor) will entertain, plus The News From Lake Wobegon. Enjoy the show.
“If you do not sow, you do not reap; no investment, no dividend. It’s as simple as that.” Alfred Armand Montapert
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